That scream you just heard was a thousand interior designers crying out in horror, then being suddenly silenced as they choked on their lattes. Oh bitter irony, that they would need first aid assistance from the very person they so cruelly mocked...
As part of the decorating, I've had to breach numerous health and safety guidelines, e.g. with the "balancing on stepladder with one foot while bracing hand against ceiling" manoeuvre. This then got me thinking about the risk assessment required to sweep a lady off her feet, following the principles that I learned in my manual handling/casualty handling SJA course. Step 1: Ascertain the weight that you need to lift. Step 2: Get slapped. Ah well, it looks like you need to live life on the edge whether you follow the rules or not, so it's more fun to take the daredevil approach.
As a side-note, I was worried that working in confined spaces with paint fumes might do strange things to my brain. Fortunately, there's no sign of that happening.
Anyway, back to work...